to funny not to share . . . happy holidays

[Instructional Design <ewinters@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Everyone -

All good wishes for the holiday season - and a very happy new
year.

Elaine

A big thanks to Brian for sending this my way:
________________________________

Answers to the question:
Why did the chicken cross the road?

> >
> >Plato:  For the greater good
> >
> >Karl Marx:  It was an historical inevitability.
> >
> >Thomas de Torquemada:  Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find
> out.
> >
> >Timothy Leary:  Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
> >would let it take.
> >
> >Oliver North:  National Security was at stake.
> >
> >Albert Einstein:  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
> >the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
> >
> >Salvador Dali:  The Fish.
> >
> >Ernest Hemingway:  To die.  In the rain.
> >
> >Saddam Hussein:  This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
> >justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
> >
> >Jack Nicholson:  'Cause it(censored) wanted to.  That's the (censored)
> reason.
> >
> >Ronald Reagan:  I forget.
> >
> >Henry David Thoreau:  To live deliberately...and suck all the marrow out
> >of life.
> >
> >Joseph Stalin:  I don't care.  Catch it.  I need its eggs to make my
> omlette.
> >
> >Hippocrates:  Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
> pancreas.
> >
> >Machiavelli:  So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a
> >chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but
> >also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such
> >a paragon of avian virtue?  In such a manner is the princely chicken's
> >dominion maintained.
> >
> >Andersen Management Consulting:
> >
> >Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
> >dominant market position.  The chicken was faced with significant
> >challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly
> >competitive market.  Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship
> >with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical
> >distribution strategy and implementation processes.
> >
> >Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use
> >its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the
> >chicken's people, processes and technologies in support of its overall
> >stragegy within a Program Management framework.
> >
> >Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-specturm of road analysts and
> >best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the
> >transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in
> >order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tactic and
> >explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to
> >achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and
> >implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of
> >poultry cross-median processes.
> >
> >The meeting was held in a part like setting enabling and creating an
> >impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused. and
> >built upon a consistent. clear, and unified market message and aligned
> >with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values.  This was conducive
> >towards the creation of a total business integration solution.  Andersen
> >Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
> >