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to funny not to share . . . happy holidays
- To: xanadu@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Subject: to funny not to share . . . happy holidays
- From: Instructional Design <ewinters@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 24 Dec 1997 07:09:37 -0800
- Organization: http://www.bena.com/ewinters
- References: <199712240907_MC2-2D13-2D9E@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Reply-to: xanadu@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
All good wishes for the holiday season - and a very happy new
A big thanks to Brian for sending this my way:
Answers to the question:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
> >Plato: For the greater good
> >Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.
> >Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find
> >Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
> >would let it take.
> >Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
> >Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
> >the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
> >Salvador Dali: The Fish.
> >Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
> >Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
> >justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
> >Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it(censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
> >Ronald Reagan: I forget.
> >Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately...and suck all the marrow out
> >of life.
> >Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my
> >Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
> >Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a
> >chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but
> >also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such
> >a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's
> >dominion maintained.
> >Andersen Management Consulting:
> >Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
> >dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
> >challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly
> >competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship
> >with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical
> >distribution strategy and implementation processes.
> >Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use
> >its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the
> >chicken's people, processes and technologies in support of its overall
> >stragegy within a Program Management framework.
> >Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-specturm of road analysts and
> >best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the
> >transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in
> >order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tactic and
> >explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to
> >achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and
> >implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of
> >poultry cross-median processes.
> >The meeting was held in a part like setting enabling and creating an
> >impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused. and
> >built upon a consistent. clear, and unified market message and aligned
> >with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive
> >towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen
> >Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.